Breaking Into My Anxious Thoughts

March 17, 2015 by CJ Penn 2 Comments

A typical morning: coffee mug warming my hands, Jesus Calling devotional opened to yesterday (I’m usually a day behind), and my mind ping-ponging between the book on my lap and the Spirit of Jesus within my mind. And of course, my mind often takes a side trip and finds something to be anxious about.

This morning it was the idea of eventually publishing the book I’m writing. The marketing piece of this project isn’t very appealing, though it’s something I feel comfortable with. But like most would-be authors (I suspect), I would rather spend my time writing than marketing. The accelerated blogging, more time on Facebook, and whatever other opportunities make sense at the time – all this was feeling more like a dark cloud on the horizon than something to get excited about.

Then Jesus broke into my anxious thoughts. He immediately reminded me that it’s not up to me whether the book gets published, or up to anyone else. It’s God’s decision. And that’s just the way I want it. Having God in charge of this book project removes all of my self-induced stress. Jesus broke into my anxious thoughts, and the anxiety melted away. And I’m so grateful.

Author: CJ Penn

First, my writing isn't about me. Don’t want the attention, don’t want to feed my ravenous ego (yep, I’m just a typical pride-plagued human). But I love writing - it gets me out of bed when it's way too dark, just so I can do some writing before heading off to work. I write because I’m passionate about God, Jesus, His Spirit, and His truth. And, I feel the Holy Spirit gets shortchanged in the world we call Christianity. The truth is sometimes lacking too.

2 thoughts on “Breaking Into My Anxious Thoughts”

Stand in the Storm (Jennifer)
March 17, 2015 at 8:15 am

Good reflections – as with anything, it’s good to ask the question, am I following the book project or am I following Christ? More examples: Am I trying to get married or am I pursuing God? Am I trying to get more followers on my blog or am I asking God to bring the people He needs to be here? Am I trying at all costs to get that “dream job” or am I surrendering the whole thing to God and content with whatever outcome HE thinks is good? And I could write many more examples, but those are just localized ones. :P

Hopefully you know in your spirit that if the book *never* got published then your writing it would still be part of your journey and ongoing walk with Christ. And there’s something in that for God’s glory, whether it’s on some book shelf or not. :)

Thanks for your thoughts today.

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- C.J. Penn
  March 17, 2015 at 8:46 am
  
  Hi Jennifer. What great questions… thanks. And yes, I’ve often thought that if nothing happens with this book, God is definitely working on me through this journey. His only purpose for the book may be to help me grow. And I’m grateful.
  
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