A few years ago my father, who was never really a church-goer, decided to join the Catholic Church, the church of his wife, my step-mother. I was pleased my dad was showing signs of faith, but my pleasure turned to dismay after I got the call from my mom. As part of my fathers’ application process, or whatever you go through to join the Catholic Church, the church mailed a stack of forms to my mother for her to fill out and sign. What the forms boiled down to was the annulment of the marriage of my parents. Since this would have resulted in my sisters and me being effectively declared illegitimate, my mom respectively declined and tossed the forms in the trash.
Fortunately for my dad (or unfortunately, depending on your point of view), the Catholic Church still allowed him to join, even without my moms signature – I guess my dads signature was enough to wipe from the record his divorce from my mom.
You see, that’s what the process was all about… the church had to first cleanse my father of his divorce record, before they would allow him to join. But the message goes beyond just divorce. The implication is that you cannot join the Catholic Church unless you have no visible sins attached to you. Since divorce is a sin, you have to void the divorce by voiding the marriage. I’m sure I’m over-generalizing, but you get my point.
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I have several concerns about this whole episode. First of all, maybe my parents’ marriage didn’t happen in the eyes of the Catholic Church (after all the forms were filled out), but God witnessed that first marriage; a marriage that began with oaths to Him, and produced three children. The Catholic Church may choose to ignore the truth, but God certainly will not. My real concern is this: does the Catholic Church believe that God will close His eyes, just because they choose to?
Second, divorce is clearly a sin – Jesus said so. We all sin – Jesus said so. But the story of our sins is not twisted in a way that makes it look like there was no sin (as the Catholic Church has twisted the story of my parents’ marriage). With Jesus, acceptance is far simpler than that. With Jesus we are accepted into His church not because of some manipulated image of sinlessness, but because of our faith – Jesus said so.
Third, so we are accepted into Jesus’ church not by being sinless, but by having faith and being repentant of the sins we do have. Yet the Catholic Church appears to have a higher standard.
The fourth thing that bothers me is this concept of the Catholic Church cleansing my father of past sins. There is no action by man that can clean someone of their sins, or hide their sins, or pretend their sins never happened. Jesus is the only one who can do this, and he’s already done it, by dying for our sins on the cross. Yet the Catholic Church appears to believe that they are the ones who must clean us of our sins before we can be presented to Jesus.
And finally, all of my concerns boil down to this: the Catholic Church appears not to believe. They appear not to believe in the grace of God. They appear not to believe in Jesus’ sacrifice for our sins. They appear not to believe that we are forgiven because of our faith, not by anything we may do.
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I realize that the fault for this heresy does not lie with current Catholics. This is one of many Catholic rules and traditions that have been handed down from past generations. Yet the current generation has the opportunity, and the responsibility to look at themselves in the mirror and replace the old rules and traditions with the truth; the truth of Jesus Christ. The truth that will set them free from all the burdens they have created for themselves.
More like ones who preferred to carry a mountain, while all what God asked them to carry was a tiny pebble? I got your point though! (LOL)
I believe, if I recall correctly, that the reason for the paperwork to annul your father’s marriage to your mother was so that – eventually – your father and his current wife could be married in the Roman Catholic Church (RCC) – which would mean the church sees him as living in sin with his current wife.
I also know that your father will have to jump through a lot of hoops to join the RCC, going through all their “sacraments” (confession, baptism, confirmation, communion, etc.).
The RCC considers itself to be the true church, with all matters pertaining to God to be under their authority only. They have centuries of traditions – many of them false teachings – within their doctrines.
The RCC are the Pharisees and Sadducess of Christianity.
BTW – I am an ex-Roman Catholic who finally heard the truth of the Gospel and repented. My faith is in Jesus Christ.
ColoBaptist,
Wow. Thanks for your candid comments.
I found your website by accident, but I can’t help but reply.
First of all, an annulment does NOT mean you become illegitimate. It has to do with the sacramental nature of the marriage not its validity. I’m sure that’s difficult for you to understand as sacraments are not part of your faith.
Second, divorce is NOT a sin in the church, it merely does not exist. The problem is the re-marriage. (I’m sure I don’t have to quote scripture on this one for you.) Its not about a sin in the past, its about the fact that he’s currently living in sin. As the woman he is living with is not his wife, according to the Church.
Finally, whatever you think about the Catholic church, I ask you as a fellow Christian, not to post things about the Church when your knowledge is incomplete. I don’t blame you. Generations of so-called Christians have spread misconceptions, half truths and just plain nonsense about the RCC for decades. I ask you to please look with the eyes of love and not judgement.
BTW – your “ex-Catholic” needs to realize that if your father has been baptised with water in the name of the father and the son and the Holy Spirit, he’s baptised. He won’t be baptised again. We believe in one baptism.
Hello Lesley,
Thanks for commenting, though I’m confused by some of your comments. First of all, if an annulment means the marriage is void, then in God’s eyes, I would become an illegitimate child. I don’t care how the church would look at the situation; all I care about is what God thinks about it. Of course, since the annulment is a church-made thing, then I guess I would not be illegitimate in Gods eyes.
And, I obviously struck a nerve with you (sorry if I upset you). Claiming that sacraments are not a part of my faith is incredibly derogatory and outright ridiculous.
Next, claiming that divorce does not exist is amazing. Do you really speak for the Catholic Church here? Is that how you treat sins; you just say they don’t exist? Maybe it’s just your choice of words, but you appear to be directly contradicting Jesus (see Matthew 19:8-9). And regarding your statement, “As the woman he is living with is not his wife, according to the Church.”: again, I don’t care about what the “Church” thinks – all I care about is God and His word.
Finally, you’re right, my knowledge of the Catholic church is limited. But what I do know often baffles me, particularly when I read Gods word which often contradicts what I hear from the Catholic church. In the words of Peter, who should I listen to, men or God? I choose God.
And please note that my sometimes harsh words for the Catholic church ARE based on love; first love for God and His truth, and then love for my brothers and sisters in Jesus. It breaks my heart to see people who appear to be missing out on the true love, grace, forgiveness and salvation that Jesus offers us.
You are right, there are a lot of misconceptions going around, but not just about the RCC.The most damaging misconceptions are about God and Jesus, and their truth as recorded in the bible. And that is what I choose to write about; those misconceptions.
I realize I walk a fine line between judgment and rebuking. I sincerely apologize for the judgment – it’s so easy for me to fall into that mode. Yet my sincere purpose is to rebuke. The bible calls all of us to rebuke our brothers and sisters who may drift from the truth of Jesus Christ. But rebuke with love, just like we might reprimand our precious children. As in everything, God can do it much better than me. But I will continue to speak out and rebuke as best I can.
Lesley, with love I pray that all of us will have opened eyes and hearts to see the real truth of Jesus Christ, not some man-made image that has evolved from centuries of human traditions.
Annulments are a waste of time and MONEY!
It’s not about being “free of sin” to join . . . more about the fact that Christ taught that marriage was forever. Therefore, for us Catholics at least, if you marry and it doesn’t work out you have two options
1.) Separate. You’re still married in the eyes of God and any sexual activity would be adultery.
2.) Get your marriage annulled – this means that you were in too immature of a mental state for the sacrament of matrimony to have “taken effect”. Marriage is a sacrament with the two people being married as the ministers (not the Priest). Therefore right intention is necessary. If your first marriage wasn’t a ‘real” marriage then you can marry again (this time “for real”).
So the reason they wanted the marriage annulled is that, if it weren’t, your dad would be living in a state of mortal sin and could quite possibly end up in Hell (no offense, Jesus did say that few people would find the right road and we take him at his word).
Ian, thanks for responding. Yes, Jesus teaches us that marriage is forever, and therefore divorce is a sin, period. But your comments coincide with what I referred to in my original post, that the Catholic Church, for some reason, feels it’s necessary to somehow eliminate sins from the record. This apparently even involves what an ex-Catholic friend of mine calls “verbal jujitsu”, or spinning words to come up with some kind of lame excuse, like you saying that the first marriage wasn’t “real.” I should shut up right now, because I’m sensing that I’m getting kind of harsh in my response, but your comments only add to my concern for the Catholic Church.
My concern boils down to this: the Catholic Church appears to deny the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. We all sin, there are none without sin. As Jesus pointed out, “No one is good – except God alone.” (Luke 18:19). And Paul said, “There is no one righteous, not even one.” (Romans 3:10). And the apostle John said, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” (1 John 1:8). It’s this last verse that seems to apply to the Catholic doctrine that you have described in you comment. The Catholic Church is deceiving themselves.
But back to my concern: Trying to verbally whitewash over our sins is not the way to heaven. Jesus gave us the way; we are saved by faith, and God’s grace. There is absolutely nothing we can do to save ourselves except believe, and embrace the free gift of salvation offered to us from Jesus Christ. The Catholic Church seems to have forgotten Jesus Christ. For me, that’s a huge concern.
Hi, first I’d like to say that I have never been baptized and have no religious background, have not read the bible and am 19. My parents are divorced and my mom’s second marriage was annuled. I have recently opened up to the idea that God just might exist and maybe Jesus Christ isn’t so ridiculous after all although he is more diffucult to accept. I stumbled across this thread just now and noticed that it is active and was hoping someone could answer a couple of my questions.
1) Since my parents did not get an annulment, it sounds like they are living in sin since both are dating and whatnot…would that have any affect on me in my possible attempt to find a church? I mean like…would I be sinning by loving or accepting people who are living in sin?
2) I know you cannot really remove the sins of your past, but how can I know that I’ve been forgiven? This is assuming that you can be forgiven…
3) How do I know if I have a real bible? I got a free one from some site that was apparently associated with the latter-day saints and is the St. James version…and my friend said it was “not good” and threw it out also saying that the Catholic version was more reliable. I thought it would make sense that the bible was free since everyone should have access to it…plus I’m still too scared to go into a church since I don’t know anything and would feel like a fake.
I have no idea how to go about any of this religion stuff and I have no one to talk to about it since my family is closer to the athiest side of agnostic and I have no friends I trust enough to ask the questions I’m embarrassed to ask. My boyfriend would be the only person I could talk to but he is scared that I’m going to become a religious “freak” and over obsessed with it even though most of the reasons I think there might be a God are either directly or indirectly related to him.
Angie,
These are absolutely fantastic questions that I believe a lot of people share. In fact, these are some of the same questions I had before I eventually came to know Jesus for who he really is. Anyway, here’s what I have learned…
1. Since Jesus loves and accepts people who sin, you would not be sinning by doing the same. There’s a story in the bible about Jesus hanging out with sinners: “While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and ‘sinners’ came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saws this, they asked his disciples, ‘Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and ‘sinners’?” (Matthew 9:10-11 NIV) The “Pharisees” were the religious leaders of Jesus’ day. They were kind of like a lot of today’s religious leaders, and they didn’t like the fact that Jesus hung out with sinners. But check out Jesus’ response: “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Matthew 9:12-13 NIV) Jesus himself states that he came to be with sinners.
And that’s a good thing since in fact, we are all sinners. Which brings me back to the first part of your question: I believe it is only the Catholic Church that believes annulment results in the removal of the sin of divorce. Instead of getting more wordy about this, I’ll defer to my original post.
2. What a foundational question. This is kind of what it all boils down to. Yet the answer is deceptively simple. If you believe in what Jesus did for us, if you believe in his love for us, then you will know that you have been forgiven. Now though my answer is short, the explanation isn’t. My recommendation is to get yourself a bible and read the gospel of John (the 4th book in the New Testament). It will tell you what Jesus did for us, how he in effect indeed removed the sins of our past, and it’s a great explanation of his love. You also could take a look at a short post I wrote sometime back: http://histruthwillsetyoufree.wordpress.com/2008/06/11/all-sins-are-forgiven/
3. The Latter Day Saints beliefs are not based on true Christianity, so I definitely would not call that a real bible. I don’t know much about the Catholic Bible, but I do know a lot about the Catholic Church. Since they tend to like to add a lot of man-made stuff to what God and Jesus have to say, I would venture a guess they their bible is also a bit out of wack.
It’s important to know that over the past many years, there have been many different efforts to translate the bible (from the original that is in Greek and Hebrew), into something like English. This has resulted in different “translations.” Though each of these can be considered a “real” bible, they each read a little differently (for example, I find some easier to read than others). A favorite of mine is the New International Version (the “NIV” is what was quoted in my answer to your first question). This is written in a more modern way of speaking, instead of the Old English, with the “thee” and “thou” that you find in the King James version. The “Living Bible” translation is also really good in that it uses even more of a chit-chat way of speaking. But even though the words may differ from one translation to another, the facts that are presented are all the same, which is what makes them “real” bibles.
If you want a free bible and can’t easily find one, there are bibles on-line. You could either just Google “online bible” or one site I like is: http://www.biblegateway.com/
I just checked out the Bible Gateway site and it has the translations I mentioned, plus “The Message” which is fantastic in that it reads almost more like a novel.
Good luck in your search for answers.
E.D.
you say you don’t care what the church thinks you only care what God thinks. so dont you think that if the church was spreading so called “lies” or if they were expecting anything other than what God expected don’t you think he would stop them. I am Catholic and I say that everyone is intitled to there own oppinion. But can you not see that by writing your liitlle blurb you know have people arguing with you over something so petty because God made us all differant so we are all going to have differant oppinions on differant things.
Hello Louise,
You offer some great questions and observations. First I’d like to answer your question about the idea of God stopping a church that is spreading “lies.” Well, though I wish God would stop such things, I know He doesn’t, no more than He stops anyone of us from sinning. For example, a lot of evil goes on in the world, and some people wonder why God doesn’t stop it. The answer is that God has given us freedom of choice, and allowed us to run (or ruin) or lives as we see fit. Though Jesus left His church in the hands of men, and with His recorded word (the bible) we all have clear instructions for how He wants us to run His church, He still lets us make a mess of things if we choose to.
To your next comment: like you I value other peoples opinions. That’s why I so enjoy it when people leave comments.
But unlike you, (if I understand you correctly), I do not think the issue we are discussing is petty, nor a mere matter of opinion; I think it’s a matter of belief. I am talking about God’s word verses the word of a man-made church. I believe it is critical that, instead of all having differing opinions on such things, that we are all unified. We all should place Gods word above the words of men.
The kind of unity I’m talking about is the kind of unity Jesus prayed for shortly before his arrest and death, when He offered a prayer for all believers: “I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” (John 17:20-23)
And one last thought. When I say that I don’t care what the church thinks, I only care what God thinks; I take my cue from Peter, when he says to the church leaders of his day: “Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey you rather than God.” (Acts 4:19)
Thanks and good luck,
E.D.
i just found this site this morning – these are excellent observations and posts / definitely one i’ll revisit often
The Catholic Church has spread more lies and deceit and caused more death and suffering than any other sect of any religion. Read the Bible and interpret for yourself; that’s what God intended. Make decisions based on your life, and not worry about your parents getting divorced. God loves you for who YOU are, not what you were born into. Anybody who thinks that your ancestors sins have any affect on your future with God are full of shit. You do not need to pray through Mary to talk to God. God is open 24/7 for your prayers. (not like anybody else but God can hear you in the the after life anyway, the Bible specifically states that nobody goes to heaven or hell until judgment day.) E.D. Jones, don’t worry about what the Catholic Church does. Look at their track record and see for yourself that they are completely full of shit. Find God by yourself, not what some OVERPAID “ordained” person tells you. God looks at the heart.
Octavarium,
Well, I cannot help but be very concerned about what the Catholic church does. Not because of me personally, but because of their influence on innocent people. So many people are deceived and taught a false gospel (and it’s not just the Catholic church who is guilty of promoting such deceptions). If I can help one person turn away from the deceptions and lies, and turn to the truth of Jesus Christ; then I will continue to write and strive to promote the truth.