A few years ago my father, who was never really a church-goer, decided to join the Catholic Church, the church of his wife, my step-mother. I was pleased my dad was showing signs of faith, but my pleasure turned to dismay after I got the call from my mom. As part of my fathers’ application process, or whatever you go through to join the Catholic Church, the church mailed a stack of forms to my mother for her to fill out and sign. What the forms boiled down to was the annulment of the marriage of my parents. Since this would have resulted in my sisters and me being effectively declared illegitimate, my mom respectively declined and tossed the forms in the trash.
Fortunately for my dad (or unfortunately, depending on your point of view), the Catholic Church still allowed him to join, even without my moms signature – I guess my dads signature was enough to wipe from the record his divorce from my mom.
You see, that’s what the process was all about… the church had to first cleanse my father of his divorce record, before they would allow him to join. But the message goes beyond just divorce. The implication is that you cannot join the Catholic Church unless you have no visible sins attached to you. Since divorce is a sin, you have to void the divorce by voiding the marriage. I’m sure I’m over-generalizing, but you get my point.
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I have several concerns about this whole episode. First of all, maybe my parents’ marriage didn’t happen in the eyes of the Catholic Church (after all the forms were filled out), but God witnessed that first marriage; a marriage that began with oaths to Him, and produced three children. The Catholic Church may choose to ignore the truth, but God certainly will not. My real concern is this: does the Catholic Church believe that God will close His eyes, just because they choose to?
Second, divorce is clearly a sin – Jesus said so. We all sin – Jesus said so. But the story of our sins is not twisted in a way that makes it look like there was no sin (as the Catholic Church has twisted the story of my parents’ marriage). With Jesus, acceptance is far simpler than that. With Jesus we are accepted into His church not because of some manipulated image of sinlessness, but because of our faith – Jesus said so.
Third, so we are accepted into Jesus’ church not by being sinless, but by having faith and being repentant of the sins we do have. Yet the Catholic Church appears to have a higher standard.
The fourth thing that bothers me is this concept of the Catholic Church cleansing my father of past sins. There is no action by man that can clean someone of their sins, or hide their sins, or pretend their sins never happened. Jesus is the only one who can do this, and he’s already done it, by dying for our sins on the cross. Yet the Catholic Church appears to believe that they are the ones who must clean us of our sins before we can be presented to Jesus.
And finally, all of my concerns boil down to this: the Catholic Church appears not to believe. They appear not to believe in the grace of God. They appear not to believe in Jesus’ sacrifice for our sins. They appear not to believe that we are forgiven because of our faith, not by anything we may do.
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I realize that the fault for this heresy does not lie with current Catholics. This is one of many Catholic rules and traditions that have been handed down from past generations. Yet the current generation has the opportunity, and the responsibility to look at themselves in the mirror and replace the old rules and traditions with the truth; the truth of Jesus Christ. The truth that will set them free from all the burdens they have created for themselves.
More like ones who preferred to carry a mountain, while all what God asked them to carry was a tiny pebble? I got your point though! (LOL)
I believe, if I recall correctly, that the reason for the paperwork to annul your father’s marriage to your mother was so that – eventually – your father and his current wife could be married in the Roman Catholic Church (RCC) – which would mean the church sees him as living in sin with his current wife.
I also know that your father will have to jump through a lot of hoops to join the RCC, going through all their “sacraments” (confession, baptism, confirmation, communion, etc.).
The RCC considers itself to be the true church, with all matters pertaining to God to be under their authority only. They have centuries of traditions – many of them false teachings – within their doctrines.
The RCC are the Pharisees and Sadducess of Christianity.
BTW – I am an ex-Roman Catholic who finally heard the truth of the Gospel and repented. My faith is in Jesus Christ.
ColoBaptist,
Wow. Thanks for your candid comments.
I found your website by accident, but I can’t help but reply.
First of all, an annulment does NOT mean you become illegitimate. It has to do with the sacramental nature of the marriage not its validity. I’m sure that’s difficult for you to understand as sacraments are not part of your faith.
Second, divorce is NOT a sin in the church, it merely does not exist. The problem is the re-marriage. (I’m sure I don’t have to quote scripture on this one for you.) Its not about a sin in the past, its about the fact that he’s currently living in sin. As the woman he is living with is not his wife, according to the Church.
Finally, whatever you think about the Catholic church, I ask you as a fellow Christian, not to post things about the Church when your knowledge is incomplete. I don’t blame you. Generations of so-called Christians have spread misconceptions, half truths and just plain nonsense about the RCC for decades. I ask you to please look with the eyes of love and not judgement.
BTW – your “ex-Catholic” needs to realize that if your father has been baptised with water in the name of the father and the son and the Holy Spirit, he’s baptised. He won’t be baptised again. We believe in one baptism.
Hello Lesley,
Thanks for commenting, though I’m confused by some of your comments. First of all, if an annulment means the marriage is void, then in God’s eyes, I would become an illegitimate child. I don’t care how the church would look at the situation; all I care about is what God thinks about it. Of course, since the annulment is a church-made thing, then I guess I would not be illegitimate in Gods eyes.
And, I obviously struck a nerve with you (sorry if I upset you). Claiming that sacraments are not a part of my faith is incredibly derogatory and outright ridiculous.
Next, claiming that divorce does not exist is amazing. Do you really speak for the Catholic Church here? Is that how you treat sins; you just say they don’t exist? Maybe it’s just your choice of words, but you appear to be directly contradicting Jesus (see Matthew 19:8-9). And regarding your statement, “As the woman he is living with is not his wife, according to the Church.”: again, I don’t care about what the “Church” thinks – all I care about is God and His word.
Finally, you’re right, my knowledge of the Catholic church is limited. But what I do know often baffles me, particularly when I read Gods word which often contradicts what I hear from the Catholic church. In the words of Peter, who should I listen to, men or God? I choose God.
And please note that my sometimes harsh words for the Catholic church ARE based on love; first love for God and His truth, and then love for my brothers and sisters in Jesus. It breaks my heart to see people who appear to be missing out on the true love, grace, forgiveness and salvation that Jesus offers us.
You are right, there are a lot of misconceptions going around, but not just about the RCC.The most damaging misconceptions are about God and Jesus, and their truth as recorded in the bible. And that is what I choose to write about; those misconceptions.
I realize I walk a fine line between judgment and rebuking. I sincerely apologize for the judgment – it’s so easy for me to fall into that mode. Yet my sincere purpose is to rebuke. The bible calls all of us to rebuke our brothers and sisters who may drift from the truth of Jesus Christ. But rebuke with love, just like we might reprimand our precious children. As in everything, God can do it much better than me. But I will continue to speak out and rebuke as best I can.
Lesley, with love I pray that all of us will have opened eyes and hearts to see the real truth of Jesus Christ, not some man-made image that has evolved from centuries of human traditions.
Annulments are a waste of time and MONEY!
It’s not about being “free of sin” to join . . . more about the fact that Christ taught that marriage was forever. Therefore, for us Catholics at least, if you marry and it doesn’t work out you have two options
1.) Separate. You’re still married in the eyes of God and any sexual activity would be adultery.
2.) Get your marriage annulled – this means that you were in too immature of a mental state for the sacrament of matrimony to have “taken effect”. Marriage is a sacrament with the two people being married as the ministers (not the Priest). Therefore right intention is necessary. If your first marriage wasn’t a ‘real” marriage then you can marry again (this time “for real”).
So the reason they wanted the marriage annulled is that, if it weren’t, your dad would be living in a state of mortal sin and could quite possibly end up in Hell (no offense, Jesus did say that few people would find the right road and we take him at his word).
Ian, thanks for responding. Yes, Jesus teaches us that marriage is forever, and therefore divorce is a sin, period. But your comments coincide with what I referred to in my original post, that the Catholic Church, for some reason, feels it’s necessary to somehow eliminate sins from the record. This apparently even involves what an ex-Catholic friend of mine calls “verbal jujitsu”, or spinning words to come up with some kind of lame excuse, like you saying that the first marriage wasn’t “real.” I should shut up right now, because I’m sensing that I’m getting kind of harsh in my response, but your comments only add to my concern for the Catholic Church.
My concern boils down to this: the Catholic Church appears to deny the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. We all sin, there are none without sin. As Jesus pointed out, “No one is good – except God alone.” (Luke 18:19). And Paul said, “There is no one righteous, not even one.” (Romans 3:10). And the apostle John said, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” (1 John 1:8). It’s this last verse that seems to apply to the Catholic doctrine that you have described in you comment. The Catholic Church is deceiving themselves.
But back to my concern: Trying to verbally whitewash over our sins is not the way to heaven. Jesus gave us the way; we are saved by faith, and God’s grace. There is absolutely nothing we can do to save ourselves except believe, and embrace the free gift of salvation offered to us from Jesus Christ. The Catholic Church seems to have forgotten Jesus Christ. For me, that’s a huge concern.